Jessica Lee

Pale


A doctor shuffles by, and then
stops in front of me.
"Don't tell me my son is dead,"
I stumble to say, as my throat fills with tears.
The silence is overbearing like
watching a weight, slowly fall closer and closer from above.
"I am so sorry, your son has died."

A vice clamping tighter and tighter across my heart,
not willing to let go.


Thoughts race through my head,
as if somersaulting down a hill with
gravity pulling them downward.
Tears stream down my face,
the droplets of a waterfall that have no end.

I slowly rise from
the cold hard plastic chair.
My hand touches the metal door
to my son's hospital room.
My heart rips out of the vice
as the pain explodes
to the ends of my fingertips.
I see my son,
my only son
lying on the bed with eyes, glazed over
staring into the open room and beyond.
His body, having now lost pigment is
pale.

Pale like the whites in one's eyeball,
like the color of a dying flower,
and like my heart,
lacking the once richly held
vibe and blood.

The first cry
Word
Step
Kiss.
All memories engraved in my heart
like last words on a gravestone.



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